there is a time in my days at home when i start feeling really bad... it regularly happens... when afternoon fades into evening i feel my will fading itself...
nothing of what i do satisfies me, i feel that my life isn't worth at all... i had a target for my life, now i live in the disorder... absolut disorder... waiting for my medicine to come back, to bring me back to this world... and i find myself repeating the same old things again and again, as if it would have any effects on my life...
so i run here trying to put something down in an useless attempt at finding my way out from this situation...
and for a while it seems to work... but then i turn back to that grey closed room that has become my life...