what a hurt thinking about her held in someone else's arms... i just thought i had forgotten her, forgotten my desire, when this picture invaded my mind... i had never thought to this, to the fact that such as my life will and must go on, so will hers... it's so difficult, so painful, to think to her embraced to another man... it really disarms my will, annihilates my mind... i don't really want to go on, i just want to take my life away from my existence, to take off these dirty clothes and try dressing something new... a new blank existence with no memory... a new chance, no matter what i'd become... i'd really need it...